signs of a jealous pastor
Every pastor and church leader feels them at some level, and if you look at the issues they cause inside us, around us and in our churches, it’s troubling. out the whole thing without having side-effects , other people could take a 2. I suspect it is because I am an older church planter and I wish I was younger like the other pastors so I could do more and connect with more Millenials. I wanted to trust them until they gave me a good reason not to. That’s why I don’t even want to have the church checkbook in my possession. It was not my job to micro-manage him. signal. I didn’t want to put anyone in any position of responsibility without authority over their responsibilities. When it comes back, kick it out again. Someone else’s success should never make you feel like a failure. How do you know when a leader in your church, office, or organization is showing deeper insecurity? Ron. I later discovered it was because the lead pastor was so insecure, as soon as he began to sense that some other leader or other ministry was growing in popularity, he saw them as a threat to himself and the weekend service and got rid of them. Otherwise, even I, as a pastor, can be wrong. The problem with both of these approaches to other churches—both showboating pride and envious disgruntlement—is that both other churches and their leaders as competition, as rivals for market share, rather than as partners in kingdom mission. 1. Learn more. Years of prayer, scripture, counseling and even some coaching is helping me move through mine. Rein him in before it’s too late. Leaders, you’re not nearly as bad as your last failure or as amazing as your last success. The Bible strictly forbids any kind of sexual immorality, but every time the deacon approached the pastor about this he told him, “It’s none of your business. Thank you for letting me know that everyone experiences them and that we can do something to get rid of them! Sam Luce has been the children’s pastor at Redeemer Church in Utica, New York for the past 14 years. It can be very challenging to not believe it. Every time I’ve read that text in the years that have passed, I stop and give thanks to God for what he dealt with inside me in that season. I pray that the Holy Spirit helps you through them and you grow through them with a great testimony to share some day. And my guess is the people you lead will always suspect that something is ‘off,’ even if they can’t put their finger on what it is. This is a real danger for pastors. The complaints had nothing to do with bad teaching or immoral behavior or even immaturity. Don’t give them a back-handed compliment (it’s about time he did something good) and don’t qualify the praise (it was pretty good given her track record). The line? If you want to kill the jealousy you feel, publicly praise the people you’re jealous of. I’m guessing you have great kids. I have a constant narrative running in my head that says I’m not good enough. One man can’t do that! Oddly enough, both behavioral extremes are extremely self-centered. Be generous with your praise. What do they do well? All Rights Reserved. I have been on both ends of this challenge: i) when i was leading the fastest growing church in town, and others wondered why they didn’t have the growth that we were having, and ii) where I wonder about others who now have the incredible growth that i hope for. How can you develop from what you’re learning? Micro-management is how a leader shows he doesn’t trust his team to operate in their own gifts and aptitudes—and, interestingly enough, it also shows how a leader doesn’t his trust his own decisions in enlisting and organizing a team competent enough to carry out the tasks before them. I attended a church once that went through a different youth pastor every year, a different young adult pastor about as often, and a string of ever-rotating teaching pastors. Our church has a deacon, a deaconess, and an elder, so it would be a shame to not utilize these men and women’s gifts and ministry to the church. Certainly sums up our expulsion from two Canadian churches – the last a Canadian Mega church. As much as that’s true, most of us do feel like failures when someone else succeeds. This was perfect timing. You can pick up your copy of Didn’t See It Coming here (hardcover, AudioBook or Kindle) and once again (or for the first time) discover how to thrive in life leadership. I’ve learned it’s not something that goes away and stays away, but the enemy will always try to find a way to turn our heart to things that displease God. Breshana. Of course, that’s a spiritual issue. Sometimes as a writer, you pen things that you have no idea will resonate like they do. Will likely be back to get more. There is a godly side to ambition. Yet I find I an still prone to compare our church to a few other local ones that are doing better. I truly believe that being grateful and preferring others over ourselves is the antidote to this spiritual poison that tries to infiltrate our heart. It is worth exploring, then, how closely related opposite character traits or behavioral characteristics may actually be. One thing’s for sure; this kingdom will not last because it is of man. Currently he serves as the Utica campus pastor and the Global family pastor. You and I do not know everything Carey has been through in ministry or in life. Our church plant is only 3 years old and we have done very well in an area that has mostly stagnant churches. It took over a week. Pastors that never delegate, never allow input, refuse any correction, are building their own kingdom and not God’s, say they are never wrong, and does what he wants, regardless of what church policies and bylaws say, is most certainly a controlling pastor. I had to wrestle this one down a number of years ago as we added staff and key volunteers. We reveal ten signs of a jealous partner–and offer tips to try to salvage the relationship. I’m guessing you live in a neighborhood of your choosing, in a house you like, and you obviously work in an awesome church. Where the light we receive is personal or general it is still “light’. Jared C. Wilson is the director of content strategy for Midwestern Seminary, managing editor of For The Church, and author of more than ten books, including Gospel Wakefulness, The Pastor’s Justification, The Prodigal Church, and The Gospel According to Satan. I have been a very insecure person throughout my life but when we realize that the infinite, all powerful and all knowing Creator of the universe uniquely designed and made us, then calling into question our abilities is to call into question his plan and execution of that same plan. It’s that we feel too badly. #3 hit me where I live. I attended a church once that went through a different youth pastor every year, a different young adult pastor about as often, and a string of ever-rotating teaching pastors. The complaints were solely about logistical decisions and the like. Whenever one is constantly insulting, poking, or even sarcastically digging at another leader, it is likely a sign of insecurity. As a parent of youth, I am sympathetic to the desire that our students receive top-quality ministry in the church. Instead of blowing it off and ignoring it, I admitted (to my shame) that it described me. An insecure leader may be jealous/fearful of other churches or organizations. Nothing will ever be enough. I didn’t think much about it until I saw that quote show up again and again (and again) on social media. Leaders hide behind their titles, operating as figureheads, when they fail to engage those around them, to ask for feedback and input, to initiate collaboration, or to share both the burdens and privileges of their position. If you’ve felt that at all, what do you do with it? I have a hard time accepting criticism of my ministry because I hear those comments as personal attacks. In my younger days as a leader, there were days and seasons where jealousy and envy would get the best of me. Our church has a deacon, a deaconess, and an elder, so it would be a shame to not utilize these men and women’s gifts and ministry to the church. (I’m thinking that line alone is worth a few blog entries! As a church planter in a city that’s just caught the church plant bug it’s hard not to feel this way sometimes. I know people that are most decidedly unorthodox in their beliefs, yet they are among the most loving and affirming people I know. The second hardest part was recognizing the unhappy jealous feeling for what it was. If a pastor is so unapproachable and open to constructive concerns or criticisms, then he’s got too much control in my opinion. I’m a pastor in Kenya and I’m encouraged to move on with where I’m gifted and give others there chance(God is the one who shares the gifts). I am humbled by your words. It will teach you quite quickly to celebrate what others are amazing at and to be content with the role you also get to play. Thanks Carey for this article, the podcast, and all the work you do. CNLP 376: Jon Gordon on How to Overcome the 5 D’s of Leadership and Life: Doubt, Distortion, Discouragement, Distraction and Division, and How to Improve Your Public Speaking When Speaking to a Camera, Afraid of Disappointing People? I’ve listened to many of his podcasts and read many of his posts and God has brought Carey through a lot over the years and I find it encouraging that someone has a testimony of how they got through it and gives hope for those currently facing difficult situations in ministry.


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