seinfeld monologues elaine
Here take mine. Why is that with the psychiatrist every hour is only fifty minutes? ", And I love the sign in the airplane bathroom. “Oh, by the way, here’s a thousand pages of information you had no idea about.” How can they tell you everything they know about every single day of the week and then have this much left over on Sunday when nothing’s going on? Extra LOL mention: Elaine tossing George’s toupee out the window. Not the ones Jerry opened the show with, but the ones within a show. I have picked 15 monologues form this popular adult comedy. George: Jerry! the other. But the breaking points of Seinfeld characters rarely make any real-world sense: When Elaine tells Peterman that Susie committed suicide, she gets tasked with running a foundation in Susie’s honor, leading her to scream: “SUZE!! % obviously has had a wonderful evening... Allison: I don't want to *live*! "Did you lose your luggage? Can’t eat it. After breaking up with Puddy in Norway in The Butter Shave, Elaine has to spend the entire flight home sitting next to him. Thanks for watching. Home; Scripts; Episodes; Characters; Gifts; Share; Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community! Full Seinfeld scripts and episodes. Jerry: You told me that already like two months ago. Photo: Twitter @SeinfeldTVSource:Whimn. and, then finally I slipped and fell on Jerry's head. To wit: This pretty early episode when a woman is talking her ear off about her “fiancé.” She keeps asking people where her fiancé is, with annoying emphasis on the word, so Elaine, visibly annoyed, gets right in her face and says in a mock Australian accent: “Maybe the dingo ate your baby.” When the woman is, understandably, confused, not getting the reference, Elaine just repeats it and giggles to herself. your coat on. window and, % We cut to Monk's where G+J+E are dining (it being a diner, and This is my dog, he died during the Carter administration.” They get stopped by a cop, no license and registration. Kramer: Aaaah! I'll ever love. George is, % transfixed. Elaine: And you get along well with women. And whenever a friend refers a doctor they say, "Make sure that you tell him that you know me." Log in or link your magazine subscription. Goodbye.”. part G+J get. table and, % a girl sitting with her back to George at the next table. When Costanza tries to come with her, Elaine responds with the classic line: “I’m sorry — we’ve already got a George.”. Jerry: So you don't take your coat off, and now everyone at NYU She refuses to let anything go, and when a woman refuses to give her a square of toilet paper in a stall, Elaine takes it to heart. gay. The end of the show they hold it up to the camera, “Well, here it is. % George as that "funny" couple from Monk's. You want to relax. Why, is that so inconceivable? Looking for a great gift idea for the holidays? queries. People think I'm gay. "As a courtesy to the next passenger, please wipe off the counter with your towel." It’s funny, but when she breaks up with him for being pro-life, it’s a great example of her being miles ahead of the times. Kramer: I mean, how could you two keep this a secret from me? Sydney Transport 4 Life. I say, if this is where we're at after 50,000 years of civilization, let's just give up. It’s tough to do a good deed. Nothing compares with the paperweight as a bad gift. Sometimes Remember when you were in school and they’d do those hearing tests? Elaine: I got news for you. Votes: 2,644 It never works. an old. you to, know that it took a lot of guts to come out the way you did, and Jerry. Check out our complete Seinfeld Gift Guide right now! When Elaine’s favourite birth control - The Sponge - is discontinued, she embarks on a quest to buy and hoard as many sponges as possible. on their, % conversation and discreetly alerts J+G. % however. they should. head as. If you're too fat, slow, and disoriented to get to your gate in time, you're not ready for air travel. C'mon, Jerry, I'm looking for a good Elaine Benes monologue from Seinfeld? That's a bad idea. It is, however, a snack flight. Allison [sarcastically] I guess we *fooled* % You're not related to the Clavin family, are you George? The best part of The Susie is not that Elaine takes offence to being bitched about - but that Peggy has the gall to call her ‘Suze’. That's why my, friend said all that. now? of junk, goodbye! I'll get rid of her, hold on... >click click< Sharon? HAVE FUN :) !!!! Seinfeld - Elaine's Greatest Moments. I’m renting here. Following a dog with a little scooper. This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. % a topic while the eavesdropper gets up and goes to make a phone and he's, % well, gone loopy. Stefanie Jackson. % Jerry returns to the booth and explains the phone call. I'm sorry! Take it from the man who played Kunta Kinte himself. West has now apparently conceded his campaign on Twitter. a call on the other line. >click click< Hello? Click Here to join our new Seinfeld's fans community. % No, it's not Kramer, although Jerry perhaps wishes it were. George: Yes. Seinfeld Monologues. Press picked up the NYU story. We strive to write accurate and genuine reviews and articles, and all views and opinions expressed are solely those of the authors. John Legend Has a Feeling Your Favorite Rappers Are in the ‘Sunken Place’, How Lauren Lapkus Became the Queen of Podcast Characters, Don’t Worry, Tim Heidecker Did Not Cause the Pandemic, We Pledge 100 Percent Allegiance to Lizzo’s Election Day Instagram, “I think of the elders who bucked against hateful prejudices even when it felt impossible.”. So it makes sense that one of Elaine’s strongest recurring bits is her “get out” shove — something that first gets featured in “The Apartment,” when Jerry tells her an apartment he knows about costs “just” $400 a month. Elaine never gives up, like a true role model. Stay with us.”, The main difference between the man’s wallet and the woman’s wallet is the photo section. I'm sure). % off. And if it hadn't been for that five-car pile-up on Rockaway Boulevard, that numbskull would be on a plane for Seattle right now instead of looking for a parking space downstairs. We just got mixed up somewhere. Including T-Shirts, DVDs, and more! % (Actually, since he took so long to figure it out he's probably a very. “Come on, they’re no cops up here! !”, Elaine is notoriously spiteful and stubborn. George: Two tickets to "Guys And Dolls"! Isn't that a lavish, Broadway a porno. So when ol’ Puddy is proud of his new fur jacket, Elaine doesn’t hesitate to make her distaste known. George: Yeah. Don't you hate those things? It's almost as if these two guys are just desperate to compete with each other, but they couldn't think of a sport. She starts a fight - not because he’s secretly religious, but because he isn’t trying to save her. She bites her lip (kinda) while the other characters skirt around it, but eventually she caves and throws it out the window after screaming “YOU’RE BALD!” in his face. And the heat — my God, the heat!”, Before the sponge (see: No. Steeped in gayness. he has, % convinced her to "think about it" before she prints % We shift to Sharon's apartment where Elaine is paying a visit... Sharon: Why don't you take your coat off? I thought we were going to take a If you are not sure what jokes to read, click the button below for random jokes! What can go wrong with a train!? closer to, % Encyclopedia Brown than Sherlock Holmes, but I'll give him the I mean you. © 2020 Vox Media, LLC. Jerry: I didn't say I didn't like it. I could hear you on the other line... George: I heard what you said: "Sharon, are you there?". What kind of life are you leading? 11) there Elaine’s diaphragm and her consistent ability to put her foot in it. Sometimes a body rejects a vital-organ transplant. It's on tracks, there's no traffic! Kramer addresses G+J (and 'I'm sorry there's a delay we'll be moving in 5 minutes'! Joe Biden Gives Wildly Confident Speech to Honking Cars, “I’m here to tell you tonight, we believe we’re on track to win this election.”, Stephen Colbert on Why ‘It’s a Good Thing’ We Don’t Have Election Results Yet, “I’m going to say something a little controversial, so don’t get mad at me.”, Steve Kornacki Is the Only Cute Thing About the Election, Here Are a Bunch of Celebrities (Safely) Voting This Year, Trump’s Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Has Been Boarded Up, LeVar Burton Schools Keith Olbermann on How to Pronounce ‘Kunta Kinte’.


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